There’s this great section in It Doesn’t Have to Be Crazy at Work where the authors reference a technique from Jean-Louis Gassée, formerly of Apple France:
“When you deal with people who have trouble, you can either choose to take the token that says ‘It’s no big deal’ or the token that says ‘It’s the end of the world.’ Whichever token you pick, they’ll take the other.”
When you’re the one at fault, you probably should take the “it’s the end of the world” token out of habit. If only as a gesture to make things right.
Of course, when you’ve been wronged, it’s easy to pick the same token. It’s pretty natural. And yet it turns out there are very few things in life worth treating like they’re the end of the world.
So why not make “It’s no big deal” your default reaction? You can always upgrade to “end of the world” status later.