If you were to watch my two dogs play together without any context, it would look a bit like they were fighting, trying to bite at each other’s ankles and pin the other into submission. You might even try to break them up.
But once you spend any time with them, you realize it’s just harmless play.
In the workplace, the same dynamic is at play. A coworker is overly defensive in a meeting. You can choose to interpret that behavior as being entirely about you, and attack back. Or empathize with them for a moment, and recognize they’re simply stressed about an upcoming deadline.
Chances are there’s always more to the story than at first blush.