Early in my career, I made a few enemies. Mostly because a disagreement in my mind turned into an attitude of “they’re out to get me”. I created these enemies myself, and the animosity I held towards them lasted for years.
Looking back on those times is embarrassing – disagreement & conflict are natural parts of the workplace, but I had let it get much more personal than that.
These days I think I’m a lot more cool headed and ambivalent about conflict and disagreement at work. It can be frustrating at times. It’s still easy to interpret disagreement as a sign of a personal slight. But the difference today is that I rarely let these feelings evoke a response.
Whenever I speak to people just starting their careers, I always try and emphasis this point. The easy choice is to let our emotions get the better of us. To treat conflict at work as if it’s theater. But the reality is usually far less interesting, and the consequences of behaving that way just don’t work out well for you in the end.